Annoying Days of Christmas 6 through 12

Well, it seems doing something daily on the 'net for me on Dialup is not going to work too well... So here they are, the last annoying days of Christmas...

Virgin Birth?
There is no such thing as a virgin birth. And, Christianity doesn't have a monopoly on virgin birth stories. There are several other religions which have the same story of their redeemer being born of a virgin mother. If I'm supposed to believe the Christian version, they'd better believe all the other versions, too

Christmas Trees
The Druids hold trees in a status on par with a god. Why the HELL would a Christian church take a holy symbol of some other religion and use it? They did it to help their own church congregations grow! It was a conversion technique! Don't try to wedge in some stupid argument that "The triangular shape represents the Holy Trinity".

Luke's Christmas Story
Have any of you Christians actually *read* the Bible? Forget the whole Bible; have you read even the New Testament? Didn't think so.

The Gospels were written many, many, many years after the events they relate occur. The person who wrote "The Gospel According to St. Luke" wasn't there to actually see anything about City of David and Taxes, and Inns, and Mangers, and asses, and Wise Men, and Shepherds, and bright stars.

Do yourself a favor, read Luke Chapter 2 (that's the Christmas Story that we all know almost word for word. You know, "There were abiding in the fijords by night sheepherds watching the clock... Great tidings of great joy and great blah blah blah blah.) Then, go read the other account of the same alleged events in Matthew Chapter 2. Both of those were written LONG after the fact.

The only reason Luke's in the version we all know so well is that it's the more pretty-sounding and makes a nice little complete story. (By the way, "prettiness" was what King James' little minion-translators aimed for.) Oh, and that it was in that Peanuts Christmas special we've *all* seen for the past forty years.

Christmas Songs
The song "Here Come Santa Claus" annoys me in it's final verse:
"'Cause Santa knows that we're God's children and that makes everything right."
Makes what everything right? Interjecting religion into a secular song to appease the Church? Please... Jus' sing the first two verses and we'll all be fine...

Commercialization vs. Christmasization
So, there's an RV Dealer 'round here (I don't want to mention Dan Gamel's name) who says in a TV Commercial that, at his place of business, you'll be wished a Merry Christmas. It's just another flagrant example of the Christian hypocracy. They complain about the "Commercialization" of Christmas, but then here's some idiot using Christmas as a way to drum up business! Can I slap him, please???

~~~~

So, Happy Holidays to you all. I hope the Christians will some day stop playing the martyr role; pretending they're so persecuted. They're not. They're the ones doing the persecuting. (

5th Annoying Day of Christmas: X = Christ

On the fifth annoying day of Christmas
A Christian ign'rantly said,
"If you say Xmas, I'll bop you on the head."

They don't like Christmas being abbreviated "Xmas" since they think it's "taking the Christ out of Christmas". I was even chided as a teenager for wishing my mother a "Merry X-mas!" Listen up, you ignorant sluts, many, many, many years ago "X" was an appropriate abbreviation for "Christ". So, it's perfectly proper to say "Xmas" as well as "Xians". (Though I do think some folks do that just to be irritating.)

4th Annoying Day of Christmas: Majority Rules!!!

On the fourth annoying day of Christmas
The Christians had oppressed
The desires of all of us, the rest!

In the Opinion pages of the local paper, The Fresno Bee, many folks have written that since the majority of the country follows a Christian-type religion, there shouldn't be a problem with government buildings with Christmas Trees, Nativity Scenes, or official greetings of "Merry Christmas". Since most people won't be offended, bothered, annoyed, whatever synonym you choose, it doesn't matter.

But that is precisely why it does matter. Since most people in Germany in the 1940's didn't like Jews, then the Holocaust shouldn't have been such a big deal. Since most people in Cuba like being ruled by Castro, we shouldn't do anything. Since most Chinese people like living in China under their communist rule, we shouldn't worry about their human rights violations.

The Christians may (or may not) be a majority but that only gives them the inalienable requirement to protect the minority from the majority! I mean, where would black folks (a minority at the time) be in this country if it hadn't been for Abraham Lincoln and other white folks?

They're out there saying that foriegn governments should give them access to their peoples to spread their message but then turn around back here in America, the land of the free, and demand that their view be the only one! How damned hypocritical is that!? Come on, you Christian nut cases! Get your heads out of yer butts!

3rd Annoying Day of Christmas: The "First Christmas"

On the third annoying day of Christmas
A Christian said to me
"The First Christmas is something I should like to see!"

Ok, so these song lyrics aren't that great. Big deal. Get over it. You get my point....

The "First Christmas" wasn't when Yahweh, Jesus, Your Lord and Saviour, The Son of Man, The Son of God, God in the Flesh, Joshua, or whatever you want to call him was born! It was when the Roman Catholic Church decided to usurp a pagan ritual and shoehorned Jesus and that whole virgin birth thing into it. They were merely trying to put butts in the pews; nothing more! That flaming and smoking purse the guy swings around was probably purty neat, too. "Oooh! The Church has Fire! OOOOH!"

BAH!

2nd Annoying Day of Christmas: Christmas vs. Holiday, The Championship Bout

On the Second Annoying Day of Christmas
A Christian tried to slug Aunt Faye!!
She had wished him a "Happy Holiday!"

Now that gay people are getting married to each other and the world isn't being destroyed and happy marriages the world over aren't suddenly falling apart, Christians had to find some other issue to get into a tizzy about.

Even though I'm not religious I never ever had a problem with wishing folks a "Merry Christmas". And, even when I was religious (back upwards of 3 decades ago) I always thought "Happy Holidays" merely referred to Christmas and New Years Day. However, with the brouhaha now welling up like rising bile from the damn Christians I'm not inclined to say either. They make a huge point of pointing out the painfully obvious fact of "holiday" being a derivative of "Holy Day". Big fuckin' whoop-dee-doo deal!!! Words change meaning! If you don't think they do, try telling a happy male figure skater that he's gay! Ok, that's a bad example. But try saying the same thing to most any NFL player.

Regardless, I'm likely to start wishing people a "Happy Solstice!" Or even "Happy Winter Celebration of Your Choosing Should you Choose to Celebrate Anything at This Time of Year or Happy Ordinary Day Should You Choose to Not Celebrate Anything!"

But I'm afraid that might be a tad wordy and not really fit on a Christmas Card. (Or the "Winter Celebration of Your Choosing Should you Choose to Celebrate Anything at This Time of Year or Happy Ordinary Day Should You Choose to Not Celebrate Anything Card".)

What kind of moron would take offense at someone else wishing them some pleasantness?? Getting offended at being wished "Happy Holidays!" is no different than slapping the person who hands you your lottery winnings! It's rude! Don't do it!!

(O'Reilly, get out of the ring; you're out of shape and those red trunks don't look good on you.)

1st Annoying Day of Christmas: Jesus is NOT the reason for the Season!

On the First Annoying Day of Christmas
O'Reilly said to us,
"The reason for the season is Jesus"

Here's a news flash for Bill O'Reilly, et. al.: Jesus is not the reason for the season! It's just an annoying pithy saying! The real reason for the season (both figuratively and literally) is the winter solstice!

Christmas is a derivative of "Christ Mass" which was first held by the Roman Catholic Church on December 25 oh so many decades ago. And it's not like they knew that This God-Child was actually *born* on December 25 (forgetting anything about Julian calendars, and all)! They merely took the pagan celebration of the winter solstice and held a mass to celebrate the birth of Jesus Christ.

(And, no, I'm not actually accusing O'Reilly of saying that exact phrase in the song lyric above. This is satire.)

The Twelve Annoying Days of Christmas

I am so damn fed up with folks (Bill O'Reilly and other oh-so-persecuted Christians) making such a damned big deal over "Happy Holidays" as opposed to "Merry Christmas". There is no damn war on Christmas! Nobody is trying to take Christ out of their Christmas, fer cryin' out loud!!! You can have all the damn Christ's in Christmas you want! Christ in a manger. Christ in swaddling clothes. Christ in your eggnog. Christ in your damn shower soaping up his private parts!! Call it Christchristchristchristmas for all I care!

Have all the Christ you want but you'd better be willing to give up your Christmas Tree. And the mistletoe. And your scented candles. And Santa Claus.

These damn Christians I'm talking about have made me so irritated that for the next twelve days--as in that insipid song--I'm going to voice my opinion once and for all on all these things that they are so very wrong about.

(And, yes, I know that the Twelve Days of Christmas actually start on Christmas Day and then proceed for 12 days and ending on Twelfth Night sometime in January...)

Electricity (Part 2)

Ya know something, all of y'all who have had electricity for these past four months have it oh, so much easier than you realize. You really do.

We finally got electricity switched on here! YIPPEE!!!! It's like we're really living up here now!!!

I can't begin to adequately and fully and completely describe what it feels like to have utility-supplied electricity again. It's been since August 10, 2005 that we've been relying on that little (ok, it's not all that little) generator for all of our power needs. That's four damn months...

Anyway, I'm very, very, very, very happy. Like going back to work after months off because of illness.

Do Dogs Have a Soul?

I took this picture of our dog on the couch before she died. I know what I see in the picture. But anything else.... Well, that's up to you....

Electricity....

God! I want electricity!!!! That is all....

(Should be, according to PG & E anyway, this week... But I've been wrong before...)

"I'll have the venison, please..."

Our three dogs have a habit of running off down the hill and onto the neighboring property. It's at least 120 acres of cattle range land so they don't often have much to worry about. Other than Trixie.

Trixie is the kitty. She's sorta beige-ish colored. Has a long, thick tail. Green eyes. And she weighs at least 140 pounds or more. She's a mountain lion. A cougar. "Kitty!"

But Trixie doesn't seem all that interested in us. Nor the tasty morsels of dogs we have.

Anyway, the dogs went running off down the hill again yesterday. We usually have to take a good half hour getting them to come back. (We're working on fixing that; it's a problem.) First to come back yesterday was C.B.. With two dark spots on either side of her neck where she'd discovered the joys of Eau du Bovine. (a.k.a., Cow Shit.)

And then comes Crash. Very happy. With something in his mouth. Proud, in fact. He had a present for us. (Or, for himself, I'm not exactly sure which.)

It was the intact skeleton of the entire back leg of a deer. Complete with Appetizer Ants. And the hoof. And a smidgeon of deer hide and hair.

UGH!

So, we threw it on the grill and cooked it up to kill anything growing in or on it. And now we have free dog chewy treats.

Later that night, a large pack of coyotes were howling away down the hill. I suppose mourning the loss of their deer leg.

The joys of rural living with dogs!

("Steak, anybody??")

HOT WATER!!!

Yippeee!!!!!!

We have hot water!!!!

I've taken my first HOT shower on my property!!! God! It felt so damn good... I almost felt like a real, normal human being again....

Only thing we're waiting for now to be able to move in is the grading inspector to call me the hell back. Then, it's the Final Inspection and then move in time!

Oh, and PG & E still hasn't got us hooked up to electricity yet. Good thing I bought a generator on Ebay back in July--it's been pretty much the main thing that has kept living on this hill palpable.

Almost Done!!!

YIPPEE!!!!

I have a phone line at the house now!!! Now I can surf all those sites that the Library won't let me onto... ;{)

The VERY last thing we're waiting for before we can move the hell into the house is a grading re-inspection (I put the house too damn close to the top of a slope (i.e., closer than 2 feet) so I had to, uh, re-slope the slope), the inspection for the gas line (i.e., propane) and the final inspection. If all goes well (I HOPE I HOPE I HOPEIHOPEIHOPEIHOPE) I'll be movin' into the damn house this weekend!!!!!!

Oh, and then I gotta start waiting for PG & E to come out and get the electricity hooked up. Shouldn't be too long. Probably by Christmas... :)

Well, that's it for now. I'll be posting pictures soon now that I can waste time on the 'net at home again...

28 Days Later (Not The Movie)

After Seven weeks of "camping" on my new property, I'm waxing poetic today.

A couple days ago, I was struck by how much more attached or in tune I have become to, generally, nature. More specifically, the cycles of the moon. When you're out camping under the stars (and rain clouds and thunderheads) for such an extended time, the cycles of the moon become plainly obvious. Even the movement of the planets among the stars is obvious.

I used to go to sleep very late at night and wake up around noon (or sometimes later). But, over the past seven weeks, I've been sacking it in shortly after sundown and getting up shortly after sunup. Do I feel better after spending so much time on a "natural" waking cycle? I don't know. I still get pretty darn irritated and annoyed with and at things.

Anyway, the past seven weeks have been, at the very least, interesting. But I am so VERY ready to be done with this extended camping trip. Today, the plumbing connections are being made so we'll have indoor plumbing soon--maybe by tonight! (You don't really want to know the details but having those connections made will vastly improve the quality of life for us.)

On the other hand, as I think I said 28 days ago, this experience could be sucking a lot harder if it weren't for the running water. Oh, and the trailer's refrigerator and freezer finally got to working well. (Well, it works well enough.)

And, finally, we're able to move ahead with the telephone connection. We were supposed to have trenched the 650 feet (from where the pole is going to be to the house) to a depth of 18 to 24 inches. However, the bedrock is--in some places--only four inches below the surface. UGH! But, we and Verizon got that worked out. Sometime in the next 30 days, I should have phone service!!!

The house is in one peice. The roof is on. My new washer and dryer are installed. Soon--very soon--I hope to be able to move in...

Three weeks.... And Counting...

It's been three weeks now that I moved out of my old house. And it's been three weeks of "camping" in the dirt of the new property.

Three weeks of dirt. Three weeks of heat. Three weeks of doing nothing. Three weeks of water that tastes like pipe dope. Three weeks of "showering" with a hose. Three weeks without plumbing. Three weeks without decent phone service. Three weeks without a damn home...

The house was delivered a week ago and is still in two peices. Electricity is going to take a good three to four additional weeks to get hooked up. It's really starting to get on my damn nerves.

On the other hand, there are some benefits. I have however been reading. A lot. In the past week, I've read When the Wind Blows, Roses are Red, Violets are Blue, Pop Goes the Weasel, and The Andromeda Strain and half of The Terminal Man. (I think there might be a couple more but I can't be sure.)

I've also been staring at the stars for a very long time. I've seen more meteors and satellites in these past three weeks than I'd seen my entire life previous.

I've apparently been losing weight. (Yes, that's a good thing.) I've seen all sorts of birds, lizards, insects, and assorted wildlife. Heard the nightly chirp-ing of at least one bat (eating said insects.)

All in all, it sucks but it could suck a lot harder. The one saving grace is that we have running water. Without that, the whole experience would REALLY be pissing me off...

Rain + Dirt = MUD!

Ok, so about 2:00 o'clock this morning, I was awakened by a thunderous clap of thunder. (I suppose that's why it was thunderous... But I digress....) A few moments later, a small sprinklin' of rain was coming down. It was mildly refreshing.

It remained mildly refreshing for about two minutes. It remained mildly refreshing until it started pouring.

We lept up from our beds scrambling around the "camp site" that I call home putting the electronic stuff away, getting my sleeping bag out of the downpour, putting the dogs in the truck, things like that.

After we rescued all we thought needed rescuing, we huddled together in the tiny spot of space still left in the trailer I'm using for storage.

It poured for about 45 minutes or so making a nice mud patch that used to be a dirt patch. Lightening struck the high voltage power lines at least once. Or I think it did.

After the storm passed, we watched the lightening strikes in the valley. It was as pretty as I had hoped it would be.

In fact, the whole thunder storm experience would have been nice and purty if I'd had a house already...

Ah! Homesteading!!!

The Internet, The Library, and Dirt!!!!

HEY!

I found the Internet! It's over here in this library here in town! And all I have to do is sit down and log on! Yippee!!!!

(I know, I sound like I'm easily entertained. And I am.)

Got all moved out of the old house. Living on the patch of dirt where the new house will be going. Not a lot to do up there. I really, really mean it, too.

You know that "Slower pace" that a lot of people seem to want? Well, gosh darn it, I found it! For excitement yesterday, I did the following:

• Watched a clock for about an hour and half
• Watched the temperature drop 10 degrees in about an hour
• Watched vultures fly on and off the high voltage power lines. All day.
• Got really excited when we got water out of the well
• Got even more excited when we got water pressure out of the pressure tank.
• Watched meteors
• Looked at the dirt
• Got a sunburn through my shirt
• Took a nap
• Took a shower with newly pressurized COLD!! water.
• Walked down the drive way and saw the, I guess, heat lightening over the Sierras
• Well, you get the idea....

But, aside from being outside all the damn time, it's purty ok. It'll be more OK once the house gets up there. And then a flurry of activity starts....

Gotta git the skirting (cinder blocks) on. Gotta get some more gravel for the driveway. Gotta get PG & E to get things right.

But, it IS a fantastic thing I've done with buyin' the land.

This is it!

Well, two days to go and I'll be living without electricity, without indoor plumbing, without phone; hell, without a lot of things we currently take for granted. But, it should all go well.

Got most of the water and well stuff hooked up. Septic's all in and covered up. House won't be delivered for another week from today. So, we're gonna be roughin' it.

Got most of my crap moved out of the current house and into the itty bitty trailer. Movin' the pond tomorrow. (Whatta mess that's gonna be!)

All in all, it's been a fairly easy move...

The Space Shuttle....

It's time for a new reusable space craft!

When will NASA realize that the current fleet of shuttles (what, two of them?) are more than 20 years old and that it's time to scrap them and come up with something better? Do the remaining shuttles need to explode before anything gets really done on a new craft? To keep sending up people in nearly antique vehicles is insanity.

Ground the friggin' shuttles and come up with something better! Stop "repairing" them!

I'm basically against wasting money on the space program. Yeah, it's neat and facinating and I'm interested in it and all. We're finding out some neat things. But what real difference have those neat things really made? Haven't we really only learned the same thing we learned by climbing Mt. Everest--that it's cold up there? However, as I said, it is interesting and I'm curious about things, too. But can't that money be better spent on other things?

Regardless, if NASA is going to continue with the space program a better reusable space craft should be found and built; and, frankly, it shouldn't be built by the lowest bidder, either. That's kinda how we got in the mess we're in today...

Steer Toss!!

Hey! That's me!!! (In the green shirt holding a steer by his head.... Silly monkey....)

Here I am at a rodeo somewhere (I think San Jose, CA) inventing a new rodeo event, The Steer Toss.

Ok, ok; it's really chute dogging (i.e., steer wrestling 'cept I didn't have to fall off of a perfectly good horse to do it).

Uh, I thought I might have more to say about it, but I guess I don't. I really do like this picture. And I think shortly after this picture was taken, I nearly got smacked in the head by one of the steer's hooves. The announcer said, "Ow, ow, ow, ow, ow!"

Stinking Sand-bagged Pits of Polluted Goo

So, I bought a generator for the property on E-Bay. Got a DAMN good deal, too. (5kw for $272.) Had to pick it up in Los Angeles, though. So, Karl and I drove down yesterday to get it.

We got it shoved into the back seat of his car (if we'd taken the truck, it would have been cheaper to have had it shipped to me) and took off trying to decide something to do in LA while we were there.

We first went to Venice Beach. Got very lucky and found a free parking space only about two blocks away from the beach. We had a nice time stickin' my feet into the stinkin' Pacific Ocean and walking along the Ocean Walk and such. (I did start singing the theme to "Three's Company" and songs from "Xanadu". I got slapped....)

After we were done there, we decided to drive over to the La Brea Tar Pits since neither of us had been there. We should have stayed in Venice...

We get out of the car at the Tar Pits and are immediately assaulted by the oily stench coming from the tar pits. And that was only the beginning of our dissapointment.

I don't know exactly what I expected to see but it certainly wasn't what was there. Rather than some interesting bubbling pits of black tar and the possible occasional fossil, what we first saw was the tacky floating fiberglass mastadon and the tacky terrified fiberglass mastadon family. I kinda expected that crap. What I didn't expect was the large pond of polluted water with the oil slick floating on the top. The methane bubbling out of the bottom of the stinking pond was mildly interesting. And the pond isn't even naturally occuring; it's a water-filled quarry.

So, we walk around the pond of floating goo. And, on the far side of it, see some "artwork". It was five white reinforced concrete square tubes lying on their sides next to each other. I'm sure there was some vast cosmic significance to them, but I'll be dammed if I know what it was.

Continuing on the path around the polluted pond we come across the stinking sand-bagged pit of polluted goo you see here. That's Karl pointing at them. Look! Trash! Polluted stinking goo!! The build up to the whole Tar Pit experience (which, unfortunately, includes the movie 'Volcano") simply didn't live up to the crap we saw.

The most interesting thing was a tiny patch of ground a little bit away from this large pit of goo. Bubbling up out of that tiny patch was little bubbles of goo. And it wasn't polluted yet, either.

We both hoped that the ironic plastic bottles and various Doritos bags had blown into the pit of goo rather than having been thrown there, too.

I'm glad I didn't go to school in LA as a kid; I would have had to suffer through an annual field trip to this stinkin' place. UGH!

Strange Sticky Note

If you've been reading this BS Blog of mine for a while, you'll know that I bought some property and have been having a hell of a time getting it ready for a house. Included with the property was a little travel trailer. In the trailer after I'd taken possession of the property were a bunch of registration papers but no pink slip; no title.

Trying to be the good little land buyer I am, I tried getting a hold of my Realtor so I could have him get the pink slip for me. But, for whatever reason (I don't want to think it's because the deal was done but it's possible), he basically kind of ignored me. Or he was out of the country. Or something. Regardless, I was unsuccessful in getting the pink slip through the realtors.

So, I wrote to the previous owner, the guy I bought the land from, at the address on the registration cards. I said,

As you know, I purchased [some land] from you and that that land included the trailer on the property. Unfortunately, I have been unable to locate the title (Pink Slip) in the trailer (if it was left in there).

I have tried to get the pink slip through our real estate agents but have been unsuccessful. That is why I'm writing to you directly.

As I'm sure you know, in order to properly transfer ownership of the trailer, the pink slip needs to be signed by you to release liability of the trailer. Can you please either let me know where the Pink Slip might have been left in the trailer or conatct me so we can arrange a meeting so I can pick up the pink slip from you. Also , if you no longer have the pink slip, you will need to complete the DMV form I've enclosed to get a duplicate pink slip.

Unforutnately, if [the bank] still holds a loan on the trailer, we will have to contact them to get the pink slip.

Please call ([phone number]) or write back and let me know what the status of the Title is for the trailer. I appreciate it.

Frankly, I thought I was rather polite and business-like. Told him what the problem is and what I had done to try to fix it.

Anyway, he called and told me the pink slip was left on the couch in the trailer. I told him all I found on the couch was the registration cards and could he please fill out the form I'd sent him and send it back to me.

Well, he wrote back and included both the pink slip and the short sticky note here.

This is the strangest little sticky note I've ever seen. It's polite, friendly, and rude. And in equal measures.

It says, "Bryan, Found the pink, this is all I have, hope you enjoy the property, please don't bother me any more or my Family."

I read that and just had to start laughing. It's like saying, "Have a nice day! Fuck you!"

I had no idea that asking for something he should have given me was a "bother". Much less asking for something he mistakenly still had but thought he'd left. And, I was going to write back or call him and say thank you, but, ya know, I just don't want to bother him....

Anyway, I had a good laugh. And now I can get the crappy little trailer in my name and then sell it.

Oh, Joy! Oh, Rapture!

Ya know, I was hoping that my first couple of posts (the One on PG & E and the One on Your Way Fumigation) would get some traffic. I never figured that at least one of them would get to be the first search result in any search engine. But, as it turns out, searching for "Your Way Fumigation" on MSN yeilds that post as the very first result that's returned. Over on Yahoo!, I think it's number 7. Either way, I'm thrilled that my crappy experience with "Your Way Fumigation" has received some note.

Take THAT you horrible company!!! Maybe you'll try better to not piss people off....

People Read This Thing??

Hey! I've gotten my first comments from people I don't know! Thanks, you two, for commenting on my "Fireworks and a Dick" post! (Though, it was me callin' the guy a Fuckin' Prick, not the other way around. He said something as he drove off into the night secure in his masculinity and shit but I don't remember what it was; or if was even cohearant in the first place.)

Gosh. Now that people are reading this thing, I guess I oughta be more, like, responsible 'n' shit...

NAW!!!! :)

My New "AIDS Cure of the Day™" Blog

I've finally gotten something on the Internet I can get behind... I've started another blog. It's the AIDS Cure of the Day™ blog over at http://aidscure.blogspot.com .

I got sick and tired (what else is new!?) of all the fake cures and outright scamming some people are doing in the name of having a "cure for AIDS". There is no known cure for AIDS and some people are trying to make money off of people afflicted with HIV infection and/or AIDS. In at least one case upwards of $7,000,000 a year to one person/clinic.

So far, I've got three entries and I really think I can keep up with at least one "cure" every day. If you happen to run across one in your internet travels, you're more than welcome to send me mail about it. I have a rather nebulous definition of what I think qualifies a "cure" as suitable for ridicule but send something to me anyway and I'll see what I can do... Chances are, I won't reply to your message but I will get it.

I'm trying to keep a backlog of several "cures" so that I (hopefully) won't run out. (Right now, I think there's about 5 in my backlog.)

Give it a look.

Fireworks and a Dick

Happy 5th of July!

These are just two pictures I took this evening down at the local ballpark. It's obvious what they are. They're fireworks.

And, aside from a royal dick who decided to park the car in the no parking lane I was standing in front of obviously taking pictures, it was a nice evening. I was so pissed off at the guy I almost got into a fight with him. Good thing I recognized the potential of that coming up and backed down; I would have hated to have (1) had my camera smashed up, (2) gone to jail, or (3) finally find out how I act in a fist fight.

He wasn't the first person to try to park in front of me, either. And other idiots decided the law didn't apply to them and parked in the No Parking zone for the duration of the fireworks display. He was just the only one who decided his little brat-child gave him the excuse to be rude and discourteous to anybody else. Fucking prick!

(Good thing, too, I'm not on 'roids.... I might be sittin' in a jail cell right now...)

As he drove away, he decided the best way to show his daughter the best way to handle a confrontation and threw an old McDonald's cup with melted ice at us. I say again, "Fuckin' Prick!"

Anyway, the camera actually takes better pictures than these files show. I'm keeping the file size and picture quality down on all the pictures I post to this blog to keep the blog size down on the server.

Floral Fireworks

Feeling a little frisky, a few flowers florished on the Fourth today; fountaining out like a floral firework from the frigid waters of the frog pond.

Poo Prison Picture

Possibly the penultimate peculiar picture posted, the poo prison wherein poo will be punished and pumped privately to the leech lines. Presently, in the picture's posterior sits my personal home site peering precariously over the Valley.



(I'd go on with that alliteration but it's hard.....)

Do they Make it Easy on Purpose??

Yet another Yahoo!Messenger, uh, "conversation"... This one really needs no explanation.... (All spelling errors are original. And, I've again left his Yahoo! profile name intact to protect the guilty. Or something like that.... I get so confused....)

ranveer201984: HEKLLO

ranveer201984: HELLO

*****ME******: Well, howdy!

ranveer201984: NICE

*****ME******: Nice what?

ranveer201984: U LIKE SEX

*****ME******: Yeah. On certain terms...

ranveer201984: REALLY

{Horny Kid}: CAN ISEE U

*****ME******: Yep.

{Horny Kid}: OK

*****ME******: Why do you want to see me?

{Clueless Horny Kid}: I LWANT TO SEE UR BODY AND UR BOOBS

{Clueless Horny Kid}: AND VEGINIA

{Clueless Horny Kid}: CANU INIVTE ME ON CMA

{Clueless Horny Kid}: CAM

*****ME******: Oh, I couldn't do that.....

{Clueless Horny Kid}: OK

{Clueless Horny Kid}: CAN U INIVTE ME

*****ME******: I don't have a cam. But I have really big tits... I'm squeezing them now....

{Clueless Horny Kid}: HOW CAN I SEE U

{Clueless Horny Kid}: PLZ GO TO PVT ROOM

*****ME******: You can only see it if you're into what I'm into....

{Clueless Horny Kid}: MEANS

{Clueless Horny Kid}: U HAVEANY PIC

{Really Horny Kid}: CAN I GO PLZZZZZZZZZZZ

*****ME******: I have a very small kinky side....

{Horny Kid Who Finally Checked my Profile}: BASARD

{Horny Kid Who Finally Checked my Profile}: RASCAL

{Horny Kid Who Finally Checked my Profile}: BASTARD

*****ME******: What? What have I done?

Ok, one comment. What the hell is a "veginia"????

Nigerian Scam Strikes Again!

Boy, those Yahoo! chat rooms bring out the best of Humanity... The following is a little exchange I had with a guy in Yahoo!Messenger. I've left his Yahoo!Profile name intact because I can. I find the whole thing rather amusing but I think a few comments are necessary to help understand what my thought process was at the time. Those comments are in Purple and Bold 'cause I think it's purty....

I've tried to format the exchange to make it easier to read. I've probably failed so deal with it. ;{) )

{l_k_b001}: hi
{l_k_b001}: asl pls

{me}: Old enough to read a profile..... (Really, this information is in my profile. These twits don't need to ask for it.)

{l_k_b001}: i am online 4 a business proposal which i will like u to assist me in (And here I knew it was the Famous Nigerian Scam. I decide to play along.)
{l_k_b001}: 54,m,southafrica
{l_k_b001}: nice to meet u

{me}: Oh, really??? What kind of proposal??

{l_k_b001}: first,i will like to know ur name and occupation pls
{l_k_b001}: I am Mr. Lewis Kibuuka, Provincial Director Standard Bank of South Africa, Johannesburg Branch (Yeah, sure you are....)

{me}: My name is Bobby Blaze and I'm a Private Investor. (And I have some beach front property in Oklahoma to sell....)

{South African Scammer}: ok
{South African Scammer}: this proposal is worth $25 m(Twenty-five Million Dollars)
{South African Scammer}: i am very serious
{South African Scammer}: this real and noy a joke

{me}: US dollars or Canadian?

{South African Scammer}: us dollars

{me}: Ok.... That's more than I can make in 10 years. What's the proposal?

{South African Scammer}: ok
{South African Scammer}: can i have ur email address so i can send the details of this proposal to u now

{me}: Can't you do it in the this PM window?
{me}: I don't have access to my Email since I'm not in the office. (I don't have an office 'cause I don't work.)

{South African Scammer}: i can send it to u then u can read and reply me when u have access to it

{me}: I'm afraid it will get lost in the server. The IT guys are upgrading them all this long weekend. They said that a lot of email would bounce; and with 25 million on the line, I don't want to risk losing the opportunity. (But I know enough about work to say the right things.)

{Desperate South African Scammer}: so how do i get u to understand the nature of this business

{me}: Tell me about it. What kind of cash do I need to invest?

{Desperate South African Scammer}: ok
{Relieved South African Scammer}: i will brief u on it
{Relieved South African Scammer}: there is $25 m in bank i want to transfer to a foreign account and i will like u to stand as the next of kin to the owner who is dead for long

{me}: Isn't that illegal? I'm not the next of kin. (Shock! Surprise!)

{Relieved South African Scammer}: i know

{me}: Is there a chance of getting caught?

{Lying South African Scammer}: no (Yeah, right. No chance of getting caught 'cause you plan on draining my accounts and then disappearing. Fuck-twit...)

{Lying South African Scammer}: According to South Africa Law, at the expiration of 5 (five) years, the money will revert to the ownership of the South Africa Government if nobody applies to claim the fund. (Yeah, sure....)

{me}: Ok. Sounds alright. I just don't want to get caught doing anything wrong. (LOL!)

{Lying South African Scammer}: i made an investigation and discovered that Mr. Richard Moss did not declare any kin or relations in all his official documents, including his Bank Deposit paperwork in my Bank.
{Lying South African Scammer}: so all i need is ur full name ,address ,pnone and fax number(s)so that we can discuss and I can also send you via fax a copy of my ID card and the certificate of the fixed deposit for your assurance that this is a genuine transaction and I want you to take it very seriously.

{me}: I don't understand how I get money out of all this, though.

{Lying South African Scammer}: sorry i forgot (Because there will BE no money for me!)
{Lying South African Scammer}: the money will be shared in a ratio of 60% for me and 40% for u

{me}: So I get 10 million. Is it tax free?

{Clueless South African Scammer}: yes
{Clueless South African Scammer}: u r right (HAHAHAHAHAHAH!!!!!)

{me}: No taxes? That sounds good.
{me}: And how much money do I put upfront?

{Clueless South African Scammer}: so
{Clueless South African Scammer}: i dont know how much it will cost me but i will let u know when the time comes
BUZZ!!!
{Clueless South African Scammer}: r u there
BUZZ!!!

{me}: Yes, sorry... I had to step away. My daughter had issues with the microwave... (I may have a microwave but I don't have any kids; much less a daughter. In reality, I went to the kitchen to fix some lunch.)
{me}: How does the money get to me?

{Gullible South African Scammer}: it will be transfered to ur account

{me}: Oh. with a Wire transfer?

{Gullible South African Scammer}: then i have to come over so u can for my own share
{Gullible South African Scammer}: yes a wire transfer

{me}: Oh. So you'll need my account number, too....
{me}: Let me get that for you..... (I can't believe how easy it is for me to lead this fuck-twit on! LOL!)

{Gullible South African Scammer}: yes
{Gullible South African Scammer}: how many accounts do u have

{me}: I have both checking and savings in 3 different banks.

{Gullible South African Scammer}: ok

{me}: I only have about 20 thousand in each, though. Will that be enough to cover expenses?

{Very Excited South African Scammer}: i think so (LOL!!! He thinks he's going to get $60,000!!!!!!)
{Very Excited South African Scammer}: so can i have ur details

{me}: Which detail would you like first? I'm anxious to get this started as soon as I can....

{Very Excited South African Scammer}: ur full names
{Very Excited South African Scammer}: address
{Very Excited South African Scammer}: phone and fax numbers
{Very Excited South African Scammer}: then account details

{me}: Bobby T Blaze (same name on all accounts) 58789 N Covey Ste 701, Filton, CA 93485 (Not true.)
{me}: 378-767-1686 v 378-767-1867 fax (Also not true. I don't even know if 378 is a real area code. Regardless, if it is, if you dial those phone numbers, all you'll get is the time of day....)
{me}: Accounts 584954648 51560540041 (Nope, not true.)
{me}: 584954648 615604897541 (Nope, not true, either.)
{me}: The rest of the account nubmers I'll have to wait for the IT guys at work to finish up. (Really, I just got tired of making up fake account numbers.)

{Very Excited South African Scammer}: ok
{Very Excited South African Scammer}: but i will like to have ur email address for easy communication

{me}: When can I expect the transfer of the 25 million?

{Very Excited South African Scammer}: within 10 working days

{me}: Not sooner? I could use part of the 10 million that'll be mine for my wife's birthday on Tuesday.... (I don't have a wife; much less one whose birthday is on Tuesday....)

{Very Excited South African Scammer}: its not that easy

{me}: Actually, I know it's not that easy. What you'd *really* do is suck money out of the account information I gave you. Of course, none of the information I gave you was real.

{Not So Excited South African Scammer}: y

{me}: For the past 50 minutes, I have been leading you on because I knew at the very beginning you were trying a version of the Nigeran Scam on me.
{me}: I have successfully wasted your time and got immense joy out of doing so.
{me}: Congratulations on being suckered into *my* scam while thinking you were the one doing the scamming.
{me}: Anything to say for yourself?
BUZZ!!!
{me}: Yoo-hoo!! Mr. South African Scammer!!!!
BUZZ!!!
BUZZ!!!
BUZZ!!!
BUZZ!!! (I guess he moved on to other victims... At the very least, I hope I saved one person from even coming close to falling for this crap.)

Gorgeous Red Ink Stamps

I'm not sure I can describe the feeling of joy and exaltation I felt not more than 60 minutes ago down at the County Planning office when the foundation plans of the house going on my property were stamped "APPROVED" in red ink. I realize it's still a long way from finished and livable, but the feeling of satisfaction was a rush.

I now have a building permit. (Sorta. I still have to fax them the Grant Deed on the property to prove I actually own it and hafta pay the school district a couple thousand dollars as a "School Impact Fee" for kids I'm never going to have. (Can't I just sign an affidavit saying I'm never going to procreate???)

Regardless, the deeds are nearly done and I can move ahead with getting the friggin' plot ready to live on... "Oh happy day with joyous glee......!"

I HAVE A DATE!!!

I finally have my date! Yippeee!!!! And it's a good one, too.

Turns out my little 6.22 acres was created on August 2, 1967 (about 7 weeks before I was born!) and, as such, isn't subject to enforcement of that bunch of annoying CDF fire regulations regarding the water! Ye-haw!!!!!!

Now, I just gotta get the Building Permit package as together as I can and drag my ass down to the county and get things approved! (Not that it'll go smoothly, of course; nothing ever does....)

I Need a Date!

How hard is it to get a date around here? Not having a date is the only thing that's holding me up right now. Just one, measly date. ONE!

Of course, the date I need isn't the one you're thinking of. It's the date my little parcel of land was created on. That's it. If it's before August 31, 1991, the property's not subject to a bunch of annoying CDF fire regulations regarding water storage. I'll probably comply anyway because it's in my best interest to make it easy to splash some water on a burning house....

But, sheesh! Give me one simple date!!!

Poo Pumped Perpendicularly?

Well, it's been about a week since the Septic guy gave a bid for both the septic and some surprising bulldozing and grading I didn't really realize I would have to have done. And the work is progressing quite nicely on that front. As you can see in the picture, I got a new place to stick the house (that's that white rectangle-like thing-a-ma-bob) and some other work on the immediate homesite I wanted but didn't know I was going to get. (That's the second picture.)

And here's that second picture. The driveway is where it says, uh, "driveway" in the picture. The leech line for the septic system is there at the top of the hill (can poo be pumped uphill???) and that nice gentle wide swath of dirt is the bit of work I was hoping could be done but didn't really think it would be. So, aside from living downhill of my poo, I'm pretty happy with all this.

(Ok, ok... The poo isn't really going to be pumped up to the top of the hill and I'm not going to be living downhill of my poo. What will happen is the leech line takes water from the top of the septic tank and disperses it over 180 feet of pipe buried in the soil. The poo and other assorted solid, uh, waste settles to the bottom of the septic tank and is digested by bacteria and such.)

And here I am lookin' growly sittin' in the compactor that's rolling around compacting dirt.

Night Frog

Picture of one of my frogs at night.

Big whoop...

That picture was taken with only the 3-led solar light for illumination. Shutter speed was about 1.6 seconds at f-stop 3.5 (I think). I had to do color correction since the overall lighting was greenish and had to use curves to bring out more detail in the mid-tones.

Big whoop x 2...

Froggers!!

Nothin' much to say. Just two pictures of two different frogs in my little pond thing in the back yard. I think I'll be movin' them with me up to the hill. (If that actually ever gets ready for a resident... Sheesh! Still is taking forever.....

They're slightly blurry because I had to take the pictures through the screening around the back porch so the little amphibians wouldn't see me and }plop{ right into the water the second I got within range. But, on the other hand, the screen does lend a nice four-pointed star effect to the highlights...

The only other times I've been able to get closer to the frogs than this is at night with the solar lights on and me creeping up on the frogs from behind the light.

Fear and Trembling in Sweden

Ok, this doesn't really have anything to do with Sweden. It just sounded good in the title.

I've been visiting the HIV/AIDS chat room over on Yahoo! (Yeah, the same Yahoo! with the Crazy Woman who believes in ghosts). There are a ton of sadly underinformed people running around in absolute terror of HIV. They think that every little bump or red mark is a sign of having HIV when it simply isn't so. They're filled with such abject fear that every little thing that might go wrong--a cough, an itchy spot--is a sign that they're infected with HIV.

Why has HIV education gotten to this point? Yes, HIV infection is an awful disease but what went wrong so that everybody is terrified that a little drop of spit on their knee is going to give them HIV?

It truly saddens me that so many people who are at risk for HIV don't know the basics of transmission, infection, and progression of the infection. But I don't know what to do about it. More accurate information in High School health classes? I don't know; I haven't been in a high school health class for nearly 20 years. More billboards? Probably wouldn't work. I just don't know....

Water Tanks, and still more dirt...

Despite my last post and things really seeming like they're going at a snail's pace, some things are actually moving along. Last week, we got both the major work of the well and pump done and a large amount of bulldozing done. (Here's a tip to future bulldozers: Don't use a 20hp 'dozer; it'll be more trouble than it's worth. Sheesh!)

So, you remember that picture I posted earlier with the supposed lines of the house drawn on it? Obviously, that isn't where its going anymore... We've had to bulldoze a bunch of dirt out of the way and rotate the home site about 90 degrees. These two pictures show before and after the crappy 20hp 'dozer did most of it's pitiful whining and pushing of dirt. (There was still about 3 hours of work done the next day; I forgot to take a picture of it...)

The chair sittin' in the second picture is where I supervised from for a good two hours. Supervisin's hard work! Man, I got so thirsty sittin' there! Good thing I drank all the water before the guy on the 'dozer got to it...

Oh, and here are the well, the 2,500 gallon water tank and stuff put in by the cute, unfriendly guy from the pump company.

Like Frozen Molassas in the Heat of Summer

This whole house and property thing seems to be going so.....damn.....slow.... Seems like everything is just creeping along at the pace of a snail about to die. The septic guy doesn't seem very organized and seems to drag his feet. And, I need this guy to tell me where the septic tank is going so I can stick its location on the site map so I can get the site map to the CDF (California Department of Forestry) so they can approve the locations of all the planned buildings so they can get their firetrucks in and out so I can get the CDF-approved site plan to the county so I can get a building permit to even get a dang house on the property.

I don't have the grand deed so I can't even prove that the land is mine even though it was recorded at the beginning of May.

Haven't heard back from PG&E about the electrical service application I sent them about two weeks ago; not even "Thanks, we'll get back to you...."

I need to have the building permit by July 10 'cause the house is going in on (or around) July 18.

Just seems like everything is so damn slow... It's frustrating... (I need to go chat with crazy ghost people again... That'll get my mind off it!) ;{)

Yahoo!! Crazy people.....

I guess nobody has a monopoly on crazy people. This is from an IM I got while over on Yahoo!Messenger... Sorry it's so damn long, but it's all purty funny to me....

{Crazy Woman}: are you there

{Me}: Sorta.

{Crazy Woman}: i need to ask you something

{Me}: Ok.

{Crazy Woman}: i have a friend that you weren't being nice to

{Crazy Woman}: {deluded Yahoo! Member who thinks she’s taken pictures of the paranormal}

{Crazy Woman}: you were talking bad about her pics

{Crazy Woman}: they are great pics

{Me}: I actually think I've been rather nice to her. I was offering my opinions about what the pictures were actually of.

{Crazy Woman}: i've seen alot of pics in my time and non of them are that good

{Crazy Woman}: you don't need to give her tips

{Crazy Woman}: she doesn't need them

{Me}: And offered suggestions on how to avoid having my explanations as a possiblity....

{Crazy Woman}: who are you to tell her how to take pics

{Crazy Woman}: and i know what you are doing right now

{Me}: Frankly, someone who knows how to take pictures and can spot camera shake when I see it.

{Crazy Woman}: you are sending her a pics aren't you

{Crazy Woman}: it's not

{Crazy Woman}: how old are you

{Me}: Yes. It is. Most of the "energy" pictures are simply a shaking camera.

{Me}: What difference does it make how old I am?

{Crazy Woman}: i just want to know

{Crazy Woman}: what is the harm in that

{Me}: I'm 37.

{Crazy Woman}: are you a photographer

{Crazy Woman}: are you there

{Me}: Yes, and yes.

{Me}: Though, not professional. But that's probably because I've never submitted anything I've taken to be purchased.

{Crazy Woman}: how do you know that {fairly nice if not deluded Yahoo! Member} isn't a photographer

{Crazy Woman}: do you know how many paranormal pics i have seen

{Crazy Woman}: i have seen a lot

{Me}: For one, she doesn't have a tripod. Two, she doesn't seem to recognize camera shake when she sees it.

{Crazy Woman}: and {pictures of dust mites and other airborne particulate matter taken by Deluded Yahoo! Member} are really good

{Crazy Woman}: i know what i am looking at

{Me}: Most paranormal pictures are nothing more than reflected dust (or other particles) from a flash, camera shake and overactive imaginations.

{Crazy Woman}: these aren't

{Me}: Yes. They are.

{Crazy Woman}: i know paranormal pics when i see them

{Me}: No, you don't.

{Crazy Woman}: plus i'm psycic

{Me}: No, you're not.

{Crazy Woman}: so yeah i do know

{Me}: If you're psychic, you would have known how old I am.

{Crazy Woman}: i can tell when things are real and not

{Me}: (Not to mention it's in the tiny bit of information in my profile.)

{Me}: No, you can't.

{Crazy Woman}: i can's sense anything about you because you are closed up

{Crazy Woman}: i haven't checked your profile

{Me}: How do you know I'm closed up?

{Crazy Woman}: i can sense that

{Crazy Woman}: you are hard on ppl aren't you

{Crazy Woman}: oh wait you wouldn't know

{Crazy Woman}: you are closed up

{Me}: But you just said you can't sense anything about me...

{Crazy Woman}: i can sense enough

{Crazy Woman}: you got something to say about that

{Me}: You can sense enough to not sense anything? Do you realize you're not making any sense?

{Crazy Woman}: to you

{Crazy Woman}: i make lots of sense to others

{Me}: No. To anybody with any sense of normality and rational thought.

{Crazy Woman}: what i sense is that there is a wall up

{Me}: Oh, please....

{Crazy Woman}: what is normal

{Crazy Woman}: who are you to say anything to {rather nice Deluded Yahoo! Member who, unfortunately, has a Crazy Woman for a friend} or me about what we do

{Me}: Who are you to say that I have a "wall" up?

{Crazy Woman}: i can feel it

{Crazy Woman}: i'm a psycic

{Me}: I can feel that you're just a moron.

{Crazy Woman}: you're not psycic

{Crazy Woman}: i am

{Me}: You are not a psychic. If you think you are, you're just fooling yourself.

{Crazy Woman}: you are a scared man

{Me}: Maybe I *am* a psychic and I'm battling you on a psychic level because I'm more powerful than you are...

{Crazy Woman}: yeah right

{Me}: Did you "sense" that I'm scared?

{Crazy Woman}: no

{Crazy Woman}: it's very obvious

{Me}: So I told you that I was scared?

{Crazy Woman}: no

{Me}: Obvious to whom???

{Crazy Woman}: me and {rather pleasant deluded Yahoo! Member with crappy camera skills}

{Crazy Woman}: and i'm sure everyone you talked to

{Me}: Oh, and now you know about all my contacts. Wow! You *are* psychic.... (Even though you can't spell it.)

{Crazy Woman}: you just leave my friend along

{Crazy Woman}: whatever

{Me}: I'll do what I want with and to whom I want.

{Crazy Woman}: leave my friend alone

{Crazy Woman}: you're gonna want to leave my friend alone

{Me}: You gonna send a psychic ball of energy at me?

{Crazy Woman}: you never know

{Crazy Woman}: just leave her alone

{Me}: And your friend doesn't seem to mind my talking to her nearly as much as you do...

{Me}: You ain't gonna send a psychic ball of energy because psychic balls of energy don't exist.

{Crazy Woman}: i don't like you

{Me}: Then why did you IM me?

{Crazy Woman}: to tell you not to be mean to {Unfortunately friend-challenged Yahoo! Member} and give her tips she doesn't need

{Crazy Woman}: bye

{Me}: She needs the tips to help her avoid having her pictures explained away the way I explained them away.

{Crazy Woman}: did she ask for the "tips"

{Me}: If you don't want your friend to improve, what kind of friend are *you*?

{Crazy Woman}: i am the type of friend that will stand up for her friends

{Me}: No, she didn't. But I easily explained away the pictures, and told her of some ways she can help avoid having similar explanations.

{Crazy Woman}: did she say thanks

{Crazy Woman}: or did she tell you that the pics were real paranormal pics

{Me}: You're the type of friend who doesn't seem to really know her friends... 'Cause she seems interested in bettering her self...

{Crazy Woman}: she didn't say that to me

{Me}: "Real paranormal" pictures don't exist because the paranormal is absurd.

{Crazy Woman}: have you ever seen a ghost

{Crazy Woman}: or felt one

{Crazy Woman}: i've seen things, i've felt things

{Me}: So your friend is two-faced??? Showing me one thing (Pleasantness) and telling you others??

{Me}: You *are* a horrible friend.

{Crazy Woman}: i've seen an orb with my own two eyes

{Crazy Woman}: no i'm not

{Me}: No. I've never seen a ghost because ghosts don't exist.

{Me}: Yes you are.

{Crazy Woman}: ghosts exist

{Crazy Woman}: i know this

{Me}: No, you don't.

{Crazy Woman}: you can't give up can you

{Me}: You *THINK* you know it. But, since they don't, you can't.

{Me}: What makes you think ghosts are real?

{Me}: Oh, psychic one....

{Crazy Woman}: i've seen them

{Me}: You saw something that you couldn't explain any easier than saying it was ghost. That's what really happened.

{Crazy Woman}: i'll tell you exactly what i saw

{Me}: We *want* to believe there is something after this life on earth, but there isn't. We want to believe that our dead loved ones can contact us after they died (because we feel so much grief at their passing) but they don't.

{Crazy Woman}: i was looking at the driveway of the trailer park i live in and i saw an orangish red ball of light hovering about 3 feet above the ground

{Crazy Woman}: there were no cars or anything like that

{Me}: You live in a trailer park? If you were really psychic, why don't you play the lottery and win and get out???

{Crazy Woman}: i don't use my gift for myself

{Crazy Woman}: it's not what it's there for

{Me}: Of course not...

{Crazy Woman}: and living in a trailer park isn't bad

{Me}: Ok, here's what I think is going on with you. You *know* this whole ghost/psychic thing is a complete sham but you still want your friend to believe in it. So, you're absolutely *terrified* that I'm giving her the tools to realize that it's all not real.... And you'll have lost another person to reality and rational thought....

{Crazy Woman}: that's not true

{Crazy Woman}: and you're acting like a shrink

{Crazy Woman}: do you have a degree

{Crazy Woman}: i doubt it

{Me}: The louder you say it isn't true, the more true it becomes...

{Crazy Woman}: well how about this i'll say goodbye and never talk to you again, you think you're so smart talking like you know it all, when you really don't, sorry but i am one person you will not fool

{Me}: Because you've already realized that this whole Ghost thing is a sham and a way to make money.

{Me}: Oh, since you don't use your psychic gift for yourself, are your readings all free?

{Crazy Woman}: i don't make money off from it

{Crazy Woman}: and you can't give up

{Me}: So, they *are* free?

{Crazy Woman}: you must be scared of the other world

{Me}: You'll give a reading to anybody who asks for it for no money?

{Crazy Woman}: you think you know it all when in reality you know nothing

{Crazy Woman}: i don't do readings

{Crazy Woman}: and if i did i would charge

{Me}: There is no "other world". The "other world" is simply a myth that we've created based on information we, as a species, couldn't process correctly.

{Me}: If you don't do readings how do you know you're psychic?

{Crazy Woman}: i get dreams that come true

{Crazy Woman}: i am empathic

{Crazy Woman}: i feel what others are feeling

{Me}: Everybody has dreams that they think come true.

{Crazy Woman}: they come true

{Me}: Empathy is not psychic.

{Crazy Woman}: sure it is

{Me}: No, you *THINK* your dreams come true.... It's the feeling of de ja vu.

{Crazy Woman}: i know what ppl are feeling cause i feel it

{Crazy Woman}: i thought i said bye

{Crazy Woman}: freak

{Me}: Do you ask them if they're feeling something that you think they're feeling"?

{Me}: How often are you right?

{Crazy Woman}: 95%

{Me}: How often are you wrong?

{Crazy Woman}: 5%

{Me}: You're not psychic; you're just good at guessing what other people are feeling.

{Crazy Woman}: i don't ask them i tell them

{Crazy Woman}: then why do i feel what they are feeling

{Crazy Woman}: why can i feel it so deep it's like my own but i haven't been feeling that

{Crazy Woman}: until they came around

{Me}: Oh. So you're an agressive "psychic" who doesn't do readings who tells people what they're feeling (heedless of whether or not you're right or wrong....) You must be a blast at parties and bar mitzvahs....

{Crazy Woman}: ppl love me

{Crazy Woman}: now i'm saying bye

{Me}: Yeah, right. Do a scientific study to prove your claims then come back and talk to me. You have nothing but anecdotal evidence.

{Crazy Woman}: fine i will

{Crazy Woman}: and i'll have a lot

{Crazy Woman}: bye

{Me}: I thought you were leaving.

{Me}: No, you won't have any because your "gift" doesn't exist and can't be proven.

{Crazy Woman}: bye

{Me}: Well, go already!

{Crazy Woman}: bye

{Me}: Pychic Girl who can't "empathize" to get the lottery numbers....

{Crazy Woman}: bye

{Me}: Psychic Girl who doesn't use her "gift" for herself. (How can you empathize with yourself???)

{Crazy Woman}: it's not for me

{Crazy Woman}: bye

{Me}: Of course not; because no one can empathize with themself.

{Me}: You're just a deluded trailerpark trash woman who thinks she knows stuff that she doesn't....

{Crazy Woman}: DON'T FUCKING CALL ME TRAILERPARK TRASH YOU NO GOOD FREAK OF NATURE

{Me}: Ooh! I think I hit a nerve with the trailer trash!!!

{Me}: I think you protest too much....

Look at me! Look at ME!!!!

Well! This was fun... In preparing to high tail it outta town here, I went through my crap for a yard sale and found a picture of me I've been trying to find for some time. And here it is.

Yep. That's me... Sorta. Obviously, it's a distorted image and it's from at least 1995. It's from Road Rash, a computer game made by Electronic Arts. No, I didn't get paid; I was employed by them at the time. And, yes, that's a chain in my headband. Yes, it hurt. Yes, that's a real wrench. No, you wouldn't use it on a motorcycle.

Oh, those Crazy Mormons!

As part of the Discovery Channel's 100 Greatest American program, there is a message board over on AOL. And, well, for various reasons, I only have a strong opinion on one of the 100; Joseph Smith. I posted in their blog:

Joseph Smith does not deserve to be in the same ranks as most of the other nominees; he was a charlatin, a polygomist, mysogynistic, and a complete sham. If you, like other faithful LDS members, believe otherwise, I suggest you look into the Kinderhook Plates, the Pearl of Great Price's original papyrus source, the "types" of eyes (spiritual) which which some Book of Mormon "witnesses" say they saw the plates; the ages and marital status of *all* of the woman Smith practiced Polygamy/polyandry with; etc. The man may have started a religion but he is no "greater" than those who started the Lutherans, Protestants, Buddahists, Gnostics, etc.

In my opinion, a fairly reasonable and measured response. I got a few little responses back that didn't bear responding to.

Then, on the message board, I got this message written to me by some guy named "gatorkoonce". (I've changed my name to protect my innocence... :) ) (Hell, this is my blog, I can do whatever the hell I want!)

{Bryan}, Do you stand for anything except trying to be a rabblerouser? I guess it makes you feel good to tell people they are not as smart as you. I'll hand it to you, you sure have a good library of Church History. Did you come up with that all by yourself? Doubtful! Are you so insecure with who you are that you lash out at those who are secure? You have used this messageboard forum as your anti-Mormon bully pulpit. But then again, it is easy to do as you are locked away in the privacy of you home, office, or where-ever. Bullies are the most insecure people on Earth. There must be some underlying issues that cause you to be so extremely prejudiced against anything Mormon. There is nothing you can say to sway most people away from the Church. I recognized your intentions in your first post. It's an old practice to take excerpts out of written history and use them completely out of context and demonize someone. I could do the same thing with any of the most honorable men in the world that has a written history. I would like all people to be members of this Church, but I do not browbeat them into getting baptized. Are the standards this Church teach too high for you. A person with character and integrity does not need to make others feel less important in a quest toward self-aggrandizement. If the character you portray in your posts is the character you portray in other aspects of your life, you are truly an unhappy person. I pity you.

Well, although that's completely Off-Topic for the message board, I responded:

(First rule of Message Boards: Do not feed the trolls.... Well, here I go feeding the troll......)



Gator, let me take your post point by point...


gatorkoonce wrote:
[[{Bryan}, Do you stand for anything except trying to be a rabblerouser?]]

Yes, actually, I stand for the truth. As I've said a couple times, the only thing truth can damage are lies, falsehood, and deceit. (All of which are practiced in varying degrees and various times by the leadership of the Church.)

Further, the truth is much easier to find when you stop assuming you already have it.


[[I'll hand it to you, you sure have a good library of Church History. Did you come up with that all by yourself? Doubtful!]]

You're correct. I didn't "come up with" it all by myself. But that doesn't negate the basic truths behind the statements.


[[Are you so insecure with who you are that you lash out at those who are secure?]]

Actually, Gator, you're dead wrong here. I'm actually quite secure in who I am.


[[You have used this messageboard forum as your anti-Mormon bully pulpit.]]

No more so than those who have used it as their pro-Mormon pulpit.


[[There must be some underlying issues that cause you to be so extremely prejudiced against anything Mormon.]]

Yes, actually, there is an underlying issue. However, it isn't with me. It's with the Church and it's attidude toward itself and it's own members and its own teachings.


[[There is nothing you can say to sway most people away from the Church.]]

The church's own histories do a fine job all by themselves.


[[I recognized your intentions in your first post. It's an old practice to take excerpts out of written history and use them completely out of context and demonize someone.]]

Something tells me you haven't done your own due diligence and looked for yourself. But no matter, the Church likes its members to believe only what it told them during General Conference and forget *all* about the past.


[[I would like all people to be members of this Church, but I do not browbeat them into getting baptized.]]

Yeah, that's for the missionaries and their mission presidents to do. Do you realize there are plenty of stories of deceit and pressuring for numbers out in the mission field?


[[Are the standards this Church teach too high for you.]]

Ya know, it's funny you mention something like that. 'Specially since you started out your post with an admonition to me about making myself feel good. Seems like you've just done the same thing in inferring that I'm "less than worthy" or "less worthy" than you are. (And, frankly, that's an attidude that premeates the entire chruch membership. When was the last time you saw the spirits of those you were doing temple work for in the temple? Never? Oh, you must not be worthy enough.)

But, regardless, the standards the church teaches are fine. It's the church behind the facade that is the problem.


[[A person with character and integrity does not need to make others feel less important in a quest toward self-aggrandizement.]]

First off, I can't make anyone *feel* anything. If someone feels less important after something I said, that's not my fault. Your emotions are your fault.

Again, you earlier implied that I'm not up to the standards that you try to live. And, again, that's exactly what you imply I'm doing with this statement.


[[If the character you portray in your posts is the character you portray in other aspects of your life, you are truly an unhappy person. I pity you.]]

Actually, I'm quite happy. I don't spend three boring hours a week dressed up in a suit and tie listening to the same drivel every Sunday. I don't part with 10% of my income never to see it again and never to have an accounting of where it goes. I don't take part in secret/sacred unchanging ceremonies that change. I don't waste my time in pointless "callings". I don't feel guilty watching an Acadamy-Award winning R-rated movie.

Further, I am happy living my life well. I don't smoke, I don't drink to excess, I help others in need (provided I have the means).

Gator, you might be surprised that someone who isn't a member of the Church can be happy and productive; but I am. And there are others out there just like me who are happy, productive, and joyful. Your church does not have a monopoly on pleasantness.

You might also be surprised to know that, world wide, your church is stastically insignificant. (Less than two-tenths of one person of the world population.) Yeah, that 12 million number the GAs throw around so much sounds impressive, but it isn't.

And, since we've gotten off the topic of the message board, I suggest that any further conversations you wish to have with me go into Email.

I'm anxious to find out what response I get, if any, and if he takes it to Email like he should.

Oh look, Martha! Homosexuals!!!!

We had our little Gay Parade-lette and Festival-esque gathering today here in town. While bigger than years past, it was still just as dismal. Just the same ol' fags you see in the bars doing the same old thing only this time in the middle of the day in the sunlight. They even had a stupid little logo that seemed to have been cranked out in about 5 minutes. Yeah, they had a contest and I could have entered my (in my opinion) much better design but I didn't get it even close to finished in time. Oh, well!

Here's their logo:



And here's mine (in a state of half-completed-ness....)



The theme was "Come Out, Come Out From Wherever You Are". I don't think the chosen logo has anything to do with the theme. But, you be the judge as to which one's better

On the other hand, it is nice to have a little gay community 'round here. Once I get to moved up in the hills, there are gonna be quite a bit fewer gay folks around.

And, I also saw some nice folks that I hadn't seen for a little while; heckled some, poked others. It was a nice 30 minute visit.

Oh, and I got the house ordered today for the property.

Dirt, dirt and more dirt...

Turns out the possible deal breaker isn't so bad afterall. (Didn't think it would be.) Just a little bit of bulldozing and everything will be fine.

Those lines on the ground? They're just suggestions....

Whoops! Hit a fairly large snag with the House on the Hill today. Ok, it may be enough to derail the entire deal of putting a house on that beautiful property. (I don't think that will happen, but it could.)

Turns out my little hand drawn Site Plan wasn't "Fireman Friendly". Spoke with a very kind and understanding and helpful battalion chief for the California Department of Forestry. Looks like I need to enlarge a portion of the drive way to a width of 20' for at least 30' in length (along with a 25' long approach on either side. With the drive way sittin' there along the side of the hill and the rock beneath the dirt so close to the surface that's kinda difficult to get. Unless, of course, dynamite is used. (Which might be fun in its own right...)

Also had to rethink the orientation of the house on the building pad to allow for CDF requirements to allow enough space for a fire truck to turn around. We jus' spun the house 90 degrees and shoved it back onto the hill. Problem solved! (Still got some bulldozing to do, though.)

This picture shows where the house used to be planned.



Got the first guts of the well pump put in today, too. That's what these pictures are of. First, the pump truck. It's the truck with the thing on the back. And second, the bear-ish pump guys who came in the pump truck to put the pump in the well. The nearly 1,000' deep well.

The Neighbor's Arboreal Mistake...

I woke up this morning to the sound of a Chainsaw. While not normally a bad way to wake up... Ok, it is. It sucks. Almost as bad as not being able to sleep all week because of strep throat and 102.8 degree fevers. Regardless, the neighbor across the street hacked up her large (I think) sycamore tree in her yard with a chainsaw.

While it never has been the most attractive tree on the block, this hacking away at it seems like a horrible mistake; I mean, she has no air conditioning (and it gets upwards of 110 in the summer here) and the tree was the only thing keeping the house remotely "cool". It's gonna make my house a little warmer in the morning 'cause the tree that used to block some sunlight doesn't. Oh, well.

In the picture, the yellow outline shows my estimated approximate guessed location of the former tree.

So, what's the point of this blog entry? None. I just wanted to use the phrase "arboreal mistake"... ;{)

Holy Lights and Stars, Batman!!

Holy cow! Just got back from the first trip of many to the property I just bought (and outright own, mind you) in the Sierra foothills... Man, oh, man! It's fantastic at night. Stars like I haven't seen in decades, crickets enough to drive you crazy, and views of the San Joaquin Valley to make you cry. (Probably because of the pollution, but that's a different story.)

Saw a hopping amphibian of some sort (frog or toad, I don't know) so I know I'll get at least a couple in my planned pond/stream/water feature-thingy.

The trailer that came with the property wasn't nearly as bad as I thought; only a couple dead mice and some mouse droppin's. But not even smelly. Probably gonna sell it As-Is for about $1,500. Found some subterranian termites in some wood stump so I'm gonna hafta have Terminix spray for those.

Gonna order the house tomorrow and hopefully, in three months, I'll be out of Fresno and livin' on the hill.... Yippee!

Your Way Fumigation Pisses Me Off

Aw, hell, I'll get to it now...

Terminix (about whom I have no complaints in their handling of the fumigation of my house) hired Your Way Fumigation to actually turn my house into a circus and pump it full of poison. We hightailed it up to Yosemite for the duration. As it turns out, Your Way Fumigation caused damage to the house and didn't seem concerned that they'd done anything wrong until I had Terminix call them.

They broke my fence, damaged the vent pipe to the bathroom, dug up flowers (that didn't need digging up), tented over another flower bed (killing all the plants in there), and the guys that did the fumigation actually taped up a business card advertising somebody's yard care business. Friggin' tools....

Anyway, the idiot from Your Way Fumigation (I sure wish I could remember his name) came out to inspect the damage and started arguing with me about what was damaged and what wasn't. Not good customer service, bubba.

And, a customer tells you someone from your company taped up a business card on the back door, don't EVER tell that customer that "anybody could have done it; we're not here watching your house 24 hour a day." That just really pisses the customer off and they create a blog entry for it. And that blog entry then starts damaging your reputation.

Regardless, Your Way Fumigation ended up making good on repairs (not all of them, I let some slide) but not after I realized I'll never use them for anything.

Bye, bye, home ownership!!!

Well, that's it! I'm no longer a home owner... Done sold the house and high tailin' it to the hills. (Really! I'm moving up to the foothills of the Sierra Nevadas!) Almost 6 1/4 acres all to myself. It's kinda on a hill at 2,400 feet elevation, but still, it's all mine. *AND* I get terrific TV reception, too!

If I get around to it, I'll continue that business about the fumigation fuck-wads over at Your Way Fumigation. MAN! That idiot who came to look at the damage his company did was a real heel....

Grrrr!!!!

Well, selling the house and had to fumigate. Went camping for the three days the house was tented came back and all hell broke loose.

PG&E was supposed to have been at the house between 1 and 5 pm to re-establish gas service. They showed up at 1:15. Which would have been fine except we ran into traffic on the way home and were delayed about 5-10 minutes.

We pull up to my house and see the PG&E truck pulling away. We chase it down and see if the guy can turn around and restore the gas service. He said he couldn't and to call in and have someone else come out later that day. (His name was Steve. In Fresno.)

Well, that isn't the way it worked out. I spent an hour on the phone with PG&E (That's Pacific Gas And Electric Company for the Search Engines....) trying to get them to provide the "excellent service" their little "Sorry we missed you" card said was their goal. Turns out, they don't give a rat's ass about "excellent service" if you happen to have been delayed because of circumstances beyond one's controll.

I was told that the earliest they could get someone back to my house was the next morning. (Mind you, I'd jus' been three days without a hot shower. I didn't want to be around myself much less submitting anybody else to me.) I told the lady on the other end of the line that tomorrow was not acceptable. She decided that I'd be better off talking to her supervisor.

I ended up yelling (I mean, really yelling) at Mr. Belt, the supervisor's supervisor (whatever that means...) in the San Jose call center for PG&E. I kept telling him (and others that I spoke with) that I wasn't getting the "excellet service" they claim is their goal and even asked him, "Are you so ineffective as a supervisor that you can't make an exception?"

That didn't go too well. I called back and spoke to Mr. Belt's counterpart at the Sacramento call center and that went exactly the same way; but with less yelling.

Eventually, I spoke with someone in Consumer Affairs in San Francisco; and once again, they declined to provide "excellent service".

I suppose I could have complained also to the CPUC but that wouldn't do me a whole lotta good.

The next day, Rodney (no, not Carrington) shows up and happily and cheerfully provided me, finally, with excellent service. He also said that he wouldn't have jus' kept driving away as Steve had done the day before. He would have called in to dispatch and said that the homeowner had just shown up. Thank you, Rodney.

That's the basic story behind PG&E. Wait 'til I start in on Your Way Fumigation and the shoddy job they did on the fumigation itself....

Oh, yeah, Yosemite was a lot of fun....

(And now, for search engines: PG&E Complain Complaint Pacific Gas Electric Company)