Annoying Days of Christmas 6 through 12

Well, it seems doing something daily on the 'net for me on Dialup is not going to work too well... So here they are, the last annoying days of Christmas...

Virgin Birth?
There is no such thing as a virgin birth. And, Christianity doesn't have a monopoly on virgin birth stories. There are several other religions which have the same story of their redeemer being born of a virgin mother. If I'm supposed to believe the Christian version, they'd better believe all the other versions, too

Christmas Trees
The Druids hold trees in a status on par with a god. Why the HELL would a Christian church take a holy symbol of some other religion and use it? They did it to help their own church congregations grow! It was a conversion technique! Don't try to wedge in some stupid argument that "The triangular shape represents the Holy Trinity".

Luke's Christmas Story
Have any of you Christians actually *read* the Bible? Forget the whole Bible; have you read even the New Testament? Didn't think so.

The Gospels were written many, many, many years after the events they relate occur. The person who wrote "The Gospel According to St. Luke" wasn't there to actually see anything about City of David and Taxes, and Inns, and Mangers, and asses, and Wise Men, and Shepherds, and bright stars.

Do yourself a favor, read Luke Chapter 2 (that's the Christmas Story that we all know almost word for word. You know, "There were abiding in the fijords by night sheepherds watching the clock... Great tidings of great joy and great blah blah blah blah.) Then, go read the other account of the same alleged events in Matthew Chapter 2. Both of those were written LONG after the fact.

The only reason Luke's in the version we all know so well is that it's the more pretty-sounding and makes a nice little complete story. (By the way, "prettiness" was what King James' little minion-translators aimed for.) Oh, and that it was in that Peanuts Christmas special we've *all* seen for the past forty years.

Christmas Songs
The song "Here Come Santa Claus" annoys me in it's final verse:
"'Cause Santa knows that we're God's children and that makes everything right."
Makes what everything right? Interjecting religion into a secular song to appease the Church? Please... Jus' sing the first two verses and we'll all be fine...

Commercialization vs. Christmasization
So, there's an RV Dealer 'round here (I don't want to mention Dan Gamel's name) who says in a TV Commercial that, at his place of business, you'll be wished a Merry Christmas. It's just another flagrant example of the Christian hypocracy. They complain about the "Commercialization" of Christmas, but then here's some idiot using Christmas as a way to drum up business! Can I slap him, please???

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So, Happy Holidays to you all. I hope the Christians will some day stop playing the martyr role; pretending they're so persecuted. They're not. They're the ones doing the persecuting. (

5th Annoying Day of Christmas: X = Christ

On the fifth annoying day of Christmas
A Christian ign'rantly said,
"If you say Xmas, I'll bop you on the head."

They don't like Christmas being abbreviated "Xmas" since they think it's "taking the Christ out of Christmas". I was even chided as a teenager for wishing my mother a "Merry X-mas!" Listen up, you ignorant sluts, many, many, many years ago "X" was an appropriate abbreviation for "Christ". So, it's perfectly proper to say "Xmas" as well as "Xians". (Though I do think some folks do that just to be irritating.)

4th Annoying Day of Christmas: Majority Rules!!!

On the fourth annoying day of Christmas
The Christians had oppressed
The desires of all of us, the rest!

In the Opinion pages of the local paper, The Fresno Bee, many folks have written that since the majority of the country follows a Christian-type religion, there shouldn't be a problem with government buildings with Christmas Trees, Nativity Scenes, or official greetings of "Merry Christmas". Since most people won't be offended, bothered, annoyed, whatever synonym you choose, it doesn't matter.

But that is precisely why it does matter. Since most people in Germany in the 1940's didn't like Jews, then the Holocaust shouldn't have been such a big deal. Since most people in Cuba like being ruled by Castro, we shouldn't do anything. Since most Chinese people like living in China under their communist rule, we shouldn't worry about their human rights violations.

The Christians may (or may not) be a majority but that only gives them the inalienable requirement to protect the minority from the majority! I mean, where would black folks (a minority at the time) be in this country if it hadn't been for Abraham Lincoln and other white folks?

They're out there saying that foriegn governments should give them access to their peoples to spread their message but then turn around back here in America, the land of the free, and demand that their view be the only one! How damned hypocritical is that!? Come on, you Christian nut cases! Get your heads out of yer butts!

3rd Annoying Day of Christmas: The "First Christmas"

On the third annoying day of Christmas
A Christian said to me
"The First Christmas is something I should like to see!"

Ok, so these song lyrics aren't that great. Big deal. Get over it. You get my point....

The "First Christmas" wasn't when Yahweh, Jesus, Your Lord and Saviour, The Son of Man, The Son of God, God in the Flesh, Joshua, or whatever you want to call him was born! It was when the Roman Catholic Church decided to usurp a pagan ritual and shoehorned Jesus and that whole virgin birth thing into it. They were merely trying to put butts in the pews; nothing more! That flaming and smoking purse the guy swings around was probably purty neat, too. "Oooh! The Church has Fire! OOOOH!"

BAH!

2nd Annoying Day of Christmas: Christmas vs. Holiday, The Championship Bout

On the Second Annoying Day of Christmas
A Christian tried to slug Aunt Faye!!
She had wished him a "Happy Holiday!"

Now that gay people are getting married to each other and the world isn't being destroyed and happy marriages the world over aren't suddenly falling apart, Christians had to find some other issue to get into a tizzy about.

Even though I'm not religious I never ever had a problem with wishing folks a "Merry Christmas". And, even when I was religious (back upwards of 3 decades ago) I always thought "Happy Holidays" merely referred to Christmas and New Years Day. However, with the brouhaha now welling up like rising bile from the damn Christians I'm not inclined to say either. They make a huge point of pointing out the painfully obvious fact of "holiday" being a derivative of "Holy Day". Big fuckin' whoop-dee-doo deal!!! Words change meaning! If you don't think they do, try telling a happy male figure skater that he's gay! Ok, that's a bad example. But try saying the same thing to most any NFL player.

Regardless, I'm likely to start wishing people a "Happy Solstice!" Or even "Happy Winter Celebration of Your Choosing Should you Choose to Celebrate Anything at This Time of Year or Happy Ordinary Day Should You Choose to Not Celebrate Anything!"

But I'm afraid that might be a tad wordy and not really fit on a Christmas Card. (Or the "Winter Celebration of Your Choosing Should you Choose to Celebrate Anything at This Time of Year or Happy Ordinary Day Should You Choose to Not Celebrate Anything Card".)

What kind of moron would take offense at someone else wishing them some pleasantness?? Getting offended at being wished "Happy Holidays!" is no different than slapping the person who hands you your lottery winnings! It's rude! Don't do it!!

(O'Reilly, get out of the ring; you're out of shape and those red trunks don't look good on you.)

1st Annoying Day of Christmas: Jesus is NOT the reason for the Season!

On the First Annoying Day of Christmas
O'Reilly said to us,
"The reason for the season is Jesus"

Here's a news flash for Bill O'Reilly, et. al.: Jesus is not the reason for the season! It's just an annoying pithy saying! The real reason for the season (both figuratively and literally) is the winter solstice!

Christmas is a derivative of "Christ Mass" which was first held by the Roman Catholic Church on December 25 oh so many decades ago. And it's not like they knew that This God-Child was actually *born* on December 25 (forgetting anything about Julian calendars, and all)! They merely took the pagan celebration of the winter solstice and held a mass to celebrate the birth of Jesus Christ.

(And, no, I'm not actually accusing O'Reilly of saying that exact phrase in the song lyric above. This is satire.)

The Twelve Annoying Days of Christmas

I am so damn fed up with folks (Bill O'Reilly and other oh-so-persecuted Christians) making such a damned big deal over "Happy Holidays" as opposed to "Merry Christmas". There is no damn war on Christmas! Nobody is trying to take Christ out of their Christmas, fer cryin' out loud!!! You can have all the damn Christ's in Christmas you want! Christ in a manger. Christ in swaddling clothes. Christ in your eggnog. Christ in your damn shower soaping up his private parts!! Call it Christchristchristchristmas for all I care!

Have all the Christ you want but you'd better be willing to give up your Christmas Tree. And the mistletoe. And your scented candles. And Santa Claus.

These damn Christians I'm talking about have made me so irritated that for the next twelve days--as in that insipid song--I'm going to voice my opinion once and for all on all these things that they are so very wrong about.

(And, yes, I know that the Twelve Days of Christmas actually start on Christmas Day and then proceed for 12 days and ending on Twelfth Night sometime in January...)

Electricity (Part 2)

Ya know something, all of y'all who have had electricity for these past four months have it oh, so much easier than you realize. You really do.

We finally got electricity switched on here! YIPPEE!!!! It's like we're really living up here now!!!

I can't begin to adequately and fully and completely describe what it feels like to have utility-supplied electricity again. It's been since August 10, 2005 that we've been relying on that little (ok, it's not all that little) generator for all of our power needs. That's four damn months...

Anyway, I'm very, very, very, very happy. Like going back to work after months off because of illness.