Nigerian Scam Strikes Again!

Boy, those Yahoo! chat rooms bring out the best of Humanity... The following is a little exchange I had with a guy in Yahoo!Messenger. I've left his Yahoo!Profile name intact because I can. I find the whole thing rather amusing but I think a few comments are necessary to help understand what my thought process was at the time. Those comments are in Purple and Bold 'cause I think it's purty....

I've tried to format the exchange to make it easier to read. I've probably failed so deal with it. ;{) )

{l_k_b001}: hi
{l_k_b001}: asl pls

{me}: Old enough to read a profile..... (Really, this information is in my profile. These twits don't need to ask for it.)

{l_k_b001}: i am online 4 a business proposal which i will like u to assist me in (And here I knew it was the Famous Nigerian Scam. I decide to play along.)
{l_k_b001}: 54,m,southafrica
{l_k_b001}: nice to meet u

{me}: Oh, really??? What kind of proposal??

{l_k_b001}: first,i will like to know ur name and occupation pls
{l_k_b001}: I am Mr. Lewis Kibuuka, Provincial Director Standard Bank of South Africa, Johannesburg Branch (Yeah, sure you are....)

{me}: My name is Bobby Blaze and I'm a Private Investor. (And I have some beach front property in Oklahoma to sell....)

{South African Scammer}: ok
{South African Scammer}: this proposal is worth $25 m(Twenty-five Million Dollars)
{South African Scammer}: i am very serious
{South African Scammer}: this real and noy a joke

{me}: US dollars or Canadian?

{South African Scammer}: us dollars

{me}: Ok.... That's more than I can make in 10 years. What's the proposal?

{South African Scammer}: ok
{South African Scammer}: can i have ur email address so i can send the details of this proposal to u now

{me}: Can't you do it in the this PM window?
{me}: I don't have access to my Email since I'm not in the office. (I don't have an office 'cause I don't work.)

{South African Scammer}: i can send it to u then u can read and reply me when u have access to it

{me}: I'm afraid it will get lost in the server. The IT guys are upgrading them all this long weekend. They said that a lot of email would bounce; and with 25 million on the line, I don't want to risk losing the opportunity. (But I know enough about work to say the right things.)

{Desperate South African Scammer}: so how do i get u to understand the nature of this business

{me}: Tell me about it. What kind of cash do I need to invest?

{Desperate South African Scammer}: ok
{Relieved South African Scammer}: i will brief u on it
{Relieved South African Scammer}: there is $25 m in bank i want to transfer to a foreign account and i will like u to stand as the next of kin to the owner who is dead for long

{me}: Isn't that illegal? I'm not the next of kin. (Shock! Surprise!)

{Relieved South African Scammer}: i know

{me}: Is there a chance of getting caught?

{Lying South African Scammer}: no (Yeah, right. No chance of getting caught 'cause you plan on draining my accounts and then disappearing. Fuck-twit...)

{Lying South African Scammer}: According to South Africa Law, at the expiration of 5 (five) years, the money will revert to the ownership of the South Africa Government if nobody applies to claim the fund. (Yeah, sure....)

{me}: Ok. Sounds alright. I just don't want to get caught doing anything wrong. (LOL!)

{Lying South African Scammer}: i made an investigation and discovered that Mr. Richard Moss did not declare any kin or relations in all his official documents, including his Bank Deposit paperwork in my Bank.
{Lying South African Scammer}: so all i need is ur full name ,address ,pnone and fax number(s)so that we can discuss and I can also send you via fax a copy of my ID card and the certificate of the fixed deposit for your assurance that this is a genuine transaction and I want you to take it very seriously.

{me}: I don't understand how I get money out of all this, though.

{Lying South African Scammer}: sorry i forgot (Because there will BE no money for me!)
{Lying South African Scammer}: the money will be shared in a ratio of 60% for me and 40% for u

{me}: So I get 10 million. Is it tax free?

{Clueless South African Scammer}: yes
{Clueless South African Scammer}: u r right (HAHAHAHAHAHAH!!!!!)

{me}: No taxes? That sounds good.
{me}: And how much money do I put upfront?

{Clueless South African Scammer}: so
{Clueless South African Scammer}: i dont know how much it will cost me but i will let u know when the time comes
BUZZ!!!
{Clueless South African Scammer}: r u there
BUZZ!!!

{me}: Yes, sorry... I had to step away. My daughter had issues with the microwave... (I may have a microwave but I don't have any kids; much less a daughter. In reality, I went to the kitchen to fix some lunch.)
{me}: How does the money get to me?

{Gullible South African Scammer}: it will be transfered to ur account

{me}: Oh. with a Wire transfer?

{Gullible South African Scammer}: then i have to come over so u can for my own share
{Gullible South African Scammer}: yes a wire transfer

{me}: Oh. So you'll need my account number, too....
{me}: Let me get that for you..... (I can't believe how easy it is for me to lead this fuck-twit on! LOL!)

{Gullible South African Scammer}: yes
{Gullible South African Scammer}: how many accounts do u have

{me}: I have both checking and savings in 3 different banks.

{Gullible South African Scammer}: ok

{me}: I only have about 20 thousand in each, though. Will that be enough to cover expenses?

{Very Excited South African Scammer}: i think so (LOL!!! He thinks he's going to get $60,000!!!!!!)
{Very Excited South African Scammer}: so can i have ur details

{me}: Which detail would you like first? I'm anxious to get this started as soon as I can....

{Very Excited South African Scammer}: ur full names
{Very Excited South African Scammer}: address
{Very Excited South African Scammer}: phone and fax numbers
{Very Excited South African Scammer}: then account details

{me}: Bobby T Blaze (same name on all accounts) 58789 N Covey Ste 701, Filton, CA 93485 (Not true.)
{me}: 378-767-1686 v 378-767-1867 fax (Also not true. I don't even know if 378 is a real area code. Regardless, if it is, if you dial those phone numbers, all you'll get is the time of day....)
{me}: Accounts 584954648 51560540041 (Nope, not true.)
{me}: 584954648 615604897541 (Nope, not true, either.)
{me}: The rest of the account nubmers I'll have to wait for the IT guys at work to finish up. (Really, I just got tired of making up fake account numbers.)

{Very Excited South African Scammer}: ok
{Very Excited South African Scammer}: but i will like to have ur email address for easy communication

{me}: When can I expect the transfer of the 25 million?

{Very Excited South African Scammer}: within 10 working days

{me}: Not sooner? I could use part of the 10 million that'll be mine for my wife's birthday on Tuesday.... (I don't have a wife; much less one whose birthday is on Tuesday....)

{Very Excited South African Scammer}: its not that easy

{me}: Actually, I know it's not that easy. What you'd *really* do is suck money out of the account information I gave you. Of course, none of the information I gave you was real.

{Not So Excited South African Scammer}: y

{me}: For the past 50 minutes, I have been leading you on because I knew at the very beginning you were trying a version of the Nigeran Scam on me.
{me}: I have successfully wasted your time and got immense joy out of doing so.
{me}: Congratulations on being suckered into *my* scam while thinking you were the one doing the scamming.
{me}: Anything to say for yourself?
BUZZ!!!
{me}: Yoo-hoo!! Mr. South African Scammer!!!!
BUZZ!!!
BUZZ!!!
BUZZ!!!
BUZZ!!! (I guess he moved on to other victims... At the very least, I hope I saved one person from even coming close to falling for this crap.)